I thought I’d write a bit about the wedding traditions we decided not to do on our wedding day. Everyone is different and I love that in this day and age couples can pick and choose what traditions to keep that reflect them as a couple. I think it’s worth noting that this is by no means a negative blog post, I am not degrading any of these traditions, it’s more of a personal post to explain what we decided not to do that worked for us. I’ve included a bit of the history behind some of these traditions, some of which are hilarious!
We didn’t have a legal ceremony on the wedding day!
I am a huge advocate of getting married where ever you like, and because of this stupid law in the UK (actually this law is only in England and Wales currently 🙄) that states you have to have a licensed structure to get married under yada yada.. just no.
Greg and I really wanted to get married completely outdoors, and the more I thought about it, the more I actually wanted a ceremony that was completely unique to us, that allowed us to commit to each other but not have to follow the formulaic structure a usual ceremony has.
Our friend read out the ceremony script from a hungry caterpillar book, mentioning and we were able to do tequila shots at the end of the ceremony. It doesn’t get any more weird than that, and that’s totally us!
I didn’t have something old, something blue or something borrowed
I’m not even going to bother writing out what the tradition to this is but it’s to do with luck, fertility and some other stuff, like happiness and continuity. So yeah I decided I did not want to do this tradition as I have no interest in any of it. I mean I want to be happy of course, but I didn’t feel the need to do any of this.
I didn’t toss the bouquet
So the bouquet wasn’t traditionally carried down the aisle to just look pretty, but to mask the bride’s odour (ummm okay?!) There’s also something to do with warding off evil spirits – something you hear a lot of with wedding traditions.
Once you’re married I guess it doesn’t matter if you smell anymore and you can just toss it? It is said that whoever catches the bouquet will be next to be married.
Well my flowers were way to nice to toss, plus if it had hit someone in the face we may well have had some concussion on our hands as that bad boy way heavy AF.
We didn’t cut a cake
We didn’t have a traditional wedding cake, so felt there was no need to cut it as everyone could help themselves to a bit of cake or cheese for dessert.
We saw each other the morning of our wedding and slept in the same bed the night before
This tradition dates back to the days of arranged marriages, when marriage was more of a business arrangement than something done for love. The couple weren’t allowed to see each other before the ceremony for fear they’d pull out of the marriage.
Today, it’s simply seen as unlucky to see your other half on the morning of your wedding.
There are many reasons why we didn’t mind seeing each other. The main one being we didn’t want to pay for two separate rooms because weddings are expensive enough without those added costs (lol). Plus it was nice to get excited together and share a bed the night before and have breakfast together. I think this made the day a lot calmer for us.
I was not given away by anyone
This is yet another tradition which dates back to the days when marriage was seen as more of a business arrangement. Brides would quite literally be handed over to a new owner, usually in exchange for money or land.
I was always taught to be my own person by my parents, I am no one’s property so I didn’t want anyone to give me away or walk me down the aisle.
I didn’t wear a veil – and I wasn’t planning on wearing white!
Apparently the wedding veil hides the bride’s beauty and wards off evil spirits. Another explanation is that during the times of arranged marriages the bride’s face would be covered until the groom had committed to the marriage.
I had a crazy big flower crown so there was no need to add a veil into the mix. I never imagined myself wearing white, but actually when I was trying on dresses I ended up really liking the white vintage lace. No one was more shocked than me by this! But I did have a glittery ensemble for the evening which I absolutely loved.
We didn’t have a top table
Greg and I decided to have what I think they call a sweetheart table. We sat just the two of us during our meal. We didn’t want to pick who we wanted to sit with. Plus, it meant we could have a chat and catch up about the day.
We didn’t have traditional speeches
I am not one to just let all the men talk, the feminist in me will not allow it! I gave a speech with Greg, and then we also asked our best ladies and men to do speeches too. We absolutely loved them and are so grateful for our wonderful friends who did such an ace job.
We didn’t have favours (as such)
We decided to give a donation to the Princess Alice Hospice who cared for my father at the end of life. As much as we appreciated everyone coming and making the effort for our wedding, we didn’t want to gift them with something they didn’t want! Instead we gave a donation and also put a bit more money into the food and free booze so everyone could enjoy what they wanted.
Not really a tradition, but I didn’t have getting ready photos
For me I just wanted to get ready with my mates and have a chilled morning without having the camera there. People have asked me if I regret this and I can 100% say I have not regretted this at all!
Remember to do what you want!
So there we have it! All the traditions we decided not to do for our wedding!
I hope you have found this blog post useful. Like I mentioned at the start of this post everyone is different. I love the fact that we have a history and traditions but that we can pick and chose the ones that feel right. I would love to hear what traditions you are doing for your wedding?
- Photos: Camera Hannah @camerahannah
- Venue: The Dreys @thedreys
- Band: @thedeloreons
- Food: Humble Pies @humblepiesofjoy
- Vegan brownies: The Vegan Bakes @theveganbakes
- Props: Toast Prop hire @toasthq
- Flowers: Sue Davies @suedaviesflowers
- Video: Ash Videography @ashvideography
- Suit: ASOS @asos
- Dress: Saldana Vintage @saldanavintage
- Hair and flower crown: Wild Rose Bridal Hair @wildrosebridalhair
- Cheese: The Cheese Shed @thecheeseshed
- Cakes: M&S @marksandspencer
- Co-ordination: Best Day Ever Wedding @bestdayeverwedplanning
- Ceremony music: @tommartinmusic
- Macrame ceremony backdrop: @halfhitchmacrame
- Map & Invites: White Cottage Wedding
- Table names DIY by me
- Fabric Seating plan: Grey & Copper